Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Bra Eval

By now you know, your boobs want you to make some changes.
But where to start?

Let's begin with what you currently have. Mainly because I hate reading articles that hook you in then immediately require you to go out and buy something you don't have.

We will address buying new bra's later in the week, but for now let's talk about your current fit.

Time to give your bra a job evaluation, and here's how you do it:
Stand in front of a mirror and look, do your boobs sit in between your elbow and your shoulder?

If they're lower than that then you're going to have to run a tighter ship.
Take those straps and jack them up...keep going...get it to where that plastic adjuster is almost to the top of your shoulder. Now, think about how long you've had that bra. If you can't even remember when you two first met, then you should be on a third hook relationship by now.

The thing with bras are they loose their elasticity over time. So as they grow older you should change which hook you're using. I know, the first hook definitely is the most comfortable, however, it's not doing anything for your girlfriends there, Girlfriend. So do all of you a favor and tighten that thing up. And do this before you adjust your shoulder straps because a majority of the heavy lifting is done by the back strap.

There should be no space between the front of your bra and your skin.

Now, if you're on the opposite end of this and your boobs are sitting too high, then make good use of that shelf and carry some of my books around. Or feel free to rest your head on your boob desk and take a nap.

But seriously, if your boobs are higher than midway between your elbow and your shoulder, chances are you're rocking the wrong cup size. That creates what's called boobie-spillage.

Ohh Emm Geee- boobie spillage is sooo not flattering (this is the best picture I could find, but in real life I've seen waaay worse). I think of it as your boobs crying out for help. If your cup size is too small, then regardless of what kind of shirt you're wearing, I can see your boobs trying to make a run for it. It's like holding silly puddy in your hand too tight-it's going to ooze out from your grip.

Is that what you want? Your boobs oozing? I didn't think so. Please come to terms with the fact that your cup runneth over and go out and get yourself a bigger bowl. A well fitting bra will show up smooth and neat underneath any shirt.

Your homework after reading this? Go give your bra a job eval then whip it into shape. I promise you, you're going to love the results!

If you have any questions or if you want to hear about something related to bras this week, you can leave a comment or email me at thespiffblog@gmail.com!

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